Negotiation and Mediation
Find agreements that work for everyone and mediate when there are conflicts.
Peace is not the absence of conflict; it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.
— Ronald ReaganMastery progression
Tends to impose, concede immediately, or avoid conflict altogether. Confuses disagreement with a fight.
Can express what they want and listen to another position with help. Starts looking for middle-ground solutions.
Distinguishes positions from interests, proposes options, and protects the relationship during negotiation.
Mediates complex conflicts, identifies deep needs, and facilitates fair and sustainable agreements.
- Say what they want in a simple situation
- Listen to a different version without interrupting for a moment
- Accept taking turns to speak
- Separate the problem from the person
- Identify the interests behind opposing positions
- Propose more than one alternative before deciding
- Write a clear agreement with responsibilities
- Mediate when both parties are emotionally activated
- Detect power imbalances in a negotiation
- Build agreements with follow-through and repair
Questions that activate it
Tap a card to see the coaching guide
What is the problem, and who is not the problem?
Tap to flipSeparates person from situation. Lowers defensiveness and allows discussing the conflict without attacking identities.
Tap to returnWhat does each party want, and what do they really need?
Tap to flipDistinguishes position from interest. 'I want that material' can conceal a need to participate, have time, or be recognized.
Tap to returnWhat option have you not tried yet?
Tap to flipOpens creativity. Many conflicts stall because only two solutions have been imagined.
Tap to returnWhat would be fair for both?
Tap to flipIntroduces a criterion of fairness, not just convenience or force.
Tap to returnHow will you know if the agreement was kept?
Tap to flipAn agreement without follow-through becomes a wish. Ask for actions, timelines, and responsible parties.
Tap to returnWhat repair is needed?
Tap to flipWhen there has been harm, negotiating tasks is not enough. It may take acknowledgment, an apology, or a behavior change.
Tap to returnThe most effective negotiations tend to focus on interests and objective criteria, not rigid positions. This increases the likelihood of lasting agreements.
Fisher, Ury & Patton (2011) — Getting to YesIdeas for developing it
- Practice brief mediations with turns: version A, version B, needs, options, agreement
- Use phrase cards: 'I need,' 'I propose,' 'I can give on...'
- Resolve cases where two rights or needs are in tension
- Compare agreements: fast, fair, sustainable, inclusive
- Negotiate roles and criteria before starting a project
- Revisit agreements when one person cannot fulfill their part
- Simulate a negotiation between school, families, and students
- Practice mediation with observers who note listening, tone, and proposals
Resources and tools
Classic reference on interest-based negotiation.
Silent DebateWebsiteProgram on Negotiation — Harvard Law SchoolResources, cases, and articles on negotiation, mediation, and conflict resolution.
Agreement ScaleWebsiteTeaching Negotiation Resource CenterMaterials and simulations for teaching negotiation.
Debate Cards